


B is for Bullsh*t

by keepingsecrets



Series: Alphabet Drabble Meme [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Friends
Genre: Gen, Prompt Fic, Vampires, Women Being Awesome, walking in a graveyard at night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-02
Updated: 2011-04-02
Packaged: 2017-11-15 06:17:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/524051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepingsecrets/pseuds/keepingsecrets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A midnight meeting in a graveyard with a crazy chick and vampires.</p>
            </blockquote>





	B is for Bullsh*t

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I just play with them. I don't own them.
> 
> A/N: Also, Friends wasn't on my list of possible fandoms, so any OOC-ness with Chandler can be blamed on me having not watched the show recently/religiously.

New York City was home to all sorts of weirdos. People who thought they could communicate with the dead and read other people's future, people who thought they were truly Cleopatra or Julius Caesar reincarnate, people who believed they were chickens - literally.  
  
Not that there was anything strange about the first one, he thought, belatedly remembering Phoebe's stint as a fortune-teller. It was just...unusual.  
  
He thought he heard everything, or if he hadn't, then Phoebe or Joey had.  
  
But  _this_ was new.  
  
He looked at the slim, cool blonde standing across from him and hoped he had misheard her. It would be a real shame for a pretty thing like her to be insane. "You're a what?"  
  
"Vampire slayer," the woman repeated. "You know, a person who stakes or beheads vampires so they don't kill humans."  
  
"Right. And I'm the Easter Bunny."  
  
She sighed. "Look, buddy, I don't make this stuff up for fun. I'm a Slayer. You are the idiot --"  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Well, you are," she insisted. "What were you thinking, taking on clients with names like Drake Cula, Vlad, and Lestat?"  
  
"This is New York City," Chandler pointed out. "Those names aren't exactly unusual. Corny, sure, but not unusual."  
  
If someone wanted a look at unusual names, they could just contact his father and ask for the names of the people in his burlesque company.  
  
"You're standing in a cemetery in the middle of the night to meet with them," the blonde spoke slowly, as though he was a dim five-year-old who couldn't understand that the sun wasn't blue. "That didn't set off any bells?"  
  
Honestly, it had, and he said as much to his boss when the man told him to make this meeting. Chandler nearly blew the entire thing off, but as much as he hated his job, it was still a good job, and he didn't really relish the idea of being unemployed. Joey would have a field day with that.  
  
"Listen, I appreciate your concern but--"  
  
"Down!" The woman knocked him to the ground before getting into a fight with three huge guys, with skills that would have made Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan proud.  
  
Then she had to pull out a stake and stab one guy in the chest. He started to yell when the guy disintegrated into a shower of ash.  
  
The second and third guys got the same treatment.  
  
The woman rose from her crouch then turned, inspecting a fresh tear in her leather jacket. "I just got this jacket," she muttered, pouting a little.  
  
Getting to his feet, Chandler stared at the three piles of ashes then looked at the blonde chick. "Vampires."  
  
"Yep. At least it wasn't a demon." She frowned. "Well, a meaner demon. Vampires aren't as bad as some other demons. But there are more of them."  
  
He felt a headache coming on. "Demons exist too?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Werewolves? Angels? Bigfoot? "  
  
She nodded again.  
  
"Killer bunny-rabbits like in Monty Python?"  
  
She nodded again, but this time, he saw her smile.  
  
Bullshit.  
  
She raised an eyebrow.  
  
Oh. "Didn't mean to say that out loud."


End file.
